""turn it off" is about wanting to rid yourself of faith. in hopes that it would make things less complicated. believing in Jesus is not easy. it's not like you decide you want to believe and then everything just sort of comes together. but that's the thing: life is hard with and without faith. the decision for me was made easy by the fact that... if life is going to be hard either way, then i'd rather have someone that i know will never leave me. that person for me is God. i believe because i can't not believe. "
I’ve been terribly sick since tuesday afternoon, haven’t been at school which is the only plus, otherwise everything sucks I feel terrible I would be sleeping if my body would let me, I haven’t ever consumed this many pills. Today I woke up feeling slightly better but still in pain and with a scrathced throat probablyfrom all the throwing up in the previous days… I haven’t been this sick in a while I am just so happy it’s not as bad as it was today.
Yesterday for me was quite lovely I saw three movies in a row, which they all made me cry. HAHA. I must admit though it was refreshing to get that all out of me without a proper excuse. Yeah I woke up feeling much better.
Lately I’m so weird. All I want to do is be alone, or stay home. I just don’t like being out lately with so many people or so much noise. To be quite honest alot of people have just been getting on my nerves lately. I don’t really know how to put into words how I am deeply feeling, all i know is that I am feeling, if that makes sense? I just need a change of scenery or certain attitudes. Maybe that’s why I am trying to distance my self, hopefully people don’t take it personal but that’s just really the way I am I follow instinct and do what I believe is best for my perosnal sanity. I just needed to get that out.